We here in West Virginia have a unique knack for generating, um, interesting media coverage for our fine state. The latest was spawned by Delegate Jeff Eldridge of the West Virginia Legislature who submitted a well-intentioned, but perhaps misguided, bill to ban Barbie because of the doll’s tendency to place too much importance on physical beauty, at the expense of their intellectual and emotional development.

To get Barbie’s(TM) take on the matter, we here at Create WV thought we would reach out through her agent. Turns out Barbie is a busy gal, what with planning her 50th anniversary activities and all. But she was kind enough to return our call during a layover in Paris.

We were relieved at Barbie’s pleasant personality and very non-diva answers to our questions. Below is the interview in its completion, minus airport background noise: 

CreateWV: Hi Barbie, my daughters are big fans. We must have at least 25 of you and your friends.

Barbie:  Thanks! Where are you from again?

CreateWV: West Virginia

Barbie:  Oh cool. Ken and I visited Richmond once I think, you know, before the breakup.

CreateWV: But that’s not….never mind. So Barbie, we wanted to get your reaction to a local state legislator here in West Virginia who submitted a bill that would effectively ban you and other dolls like you. He says you have a negative effect on girls’ body image. He says that you place too much emphasis on beauty at the expense of their intellectual and emotional development.

Barbie: I heard about that. It happened in Vermont a few years ago also. I’m sure my team has dispatched some lobbyists who will take care ot the situation. Maybe we can restart the “Friends of Barbie” campaign that worked so well in Vermont.

CreateWV: So that’s where the coal guys got it.

Barbie: Consider it done. Does this gentleman know I have two Masters Degrees? 

CreateWV: Really? What in? 

Barbie: In college.

CreateWV: No, I mean in which subjects of study? 

Barbie: Oh, well, fashion design, of course. And I have my MBA. I make serious coin you know.

CreateWV: So we’ve heard. But what about the body image issue? 

Barbie:  I totally get the concerns, really. I mean, I’m not sure people there in Virginia know….

CreateWV:  Excuse me, West Virginia.

Barbie:  West Virginia? Is that like, a state? 

CreateWV: Yes. We’re a state. Created during the Civil War by Abe Lincoln. Been around a while now.

Barbie:  Oh, cool. I love that Abe guy. Anyway, I’m about to celebrate my 50th anniversary. [NOTE: Barbie’s lawyers would like us to note that Barbie is NOT actually 50 years old, but remains the fresh, vaguely late teen/early twentysomething she’s been since inception.] So this bod was designed a long time ago. Way before people were all hung up on the body image stuff. I like to see myself as promoting physical fitness along with the pursuit of intellectual-ly kind of stuff, like fashion design.

CreateWV:  Well, we do kind of need some help in the physical fitness area I guess. But regarding the intellectual pursuits, the “Grad School Barbie” wasn’t a big seller, was it? 

Barbie:  Total bomb. And that’s what I learned during the weekend I got my MBA. Give the people what they want. It kind of hurts my feelings, but if people think I’m not appropriate for their little girls, I guess they could just not buy me. That’s what my lawyers tell me, that it’s actually possible not to buy me. By the way, have you seen those total [deleted by Barbie lawyers] Bratz girls? That’s who your state legal dude should try to ban.

CreateWV:  Word. My wife and I wouldn’t let our little girls play with them. At least your lips are in proportion. For the record, though, you encourage little girls to be both smart and beautiful?

Barbie: Totally! Like, for example, the hot librarian glasses that Sarah Palin wears. Smart and beautiful. She’s got it going on.

CreateWV:  Okayyyy…..Well then, no hard feelings? 

Barbie: No hard feelings.

CreateWV: By the way, we’d really like you to come and visit West Virginia. We’d like to take you whitewater rafting.

Barbie: Radical! I’m totally buoyant, you know, in case I fall out!

CreateWV:  After you visit, maybe we could talk business. We’re trying to help people develop a different image of our state, would you be interested in spreading the word for us about how many cool people actually live here?

Barbie:  Oh yes, people tend to listen to me, cause, I’m like sort of a big deal. But I’d be glad to put out a good word about you guys on my blog. Maybe we could do a Rafting Barbie. [Whispered side conversation to agent: Have we done that yet?]

CreateWV:  Well, thanks for being so cool about all of this.

Barbie:  No problem. I gotta catch my flight so I can be in New York for Jimmy Fallon’s new show.

CreateWV: Safe travels.

Barbie: Ciao! Say hi to all the nice folks in Richmond for me!